My posts here are still very sporadic because I struggle with what I want to say, what I think I should say, and where I think this blog should go.  My budget decorating blog was easier to manage, very often, because I didn’t feel that I had to “edit” myself in anyway… I could share my natural enthusiasms and the things that I found inspiring.

Here, I find myself  “editing.”  Trying to fit into the mold of what I think I should be… and because I am not very good at that… I show up here rarely.

I finally realized that this is the opposite of what I want and the antithesis of what I believe in.

So… I guess what I’m saying is that I want to get real with you.

I am afraid sometimes that if I say here… “I struggle” you’ll wonder why I think I have the authority to suggest you do anything different with your struggles.  This fear hits me hard when I’m working on the outline and details of the workshop… the voice in my head screams really loud “who are YOU to do this?”

It’s stopped me in my tracks on several occasions– almost completely extinguishing my ability to move forward.

Luckily, I’m very blessed to be surrounded with people who support me and my dreams. And they remind me of the reasons I started down this path.

I don’t have all the answers.  I don’t.  I’m on the path too… fighting to find my way in the dark sometimes… struggling to carve a path where I don’t see one at others.

And that’s my “WHY.”  I reach out because I know what the struggle is like.  Because I understand feeling a yearning in your soul to matter, to add to the world, to shine as bright as you can… and how hard it can be to find a way to do that when everyone and every thing around you seems to encourage you instead to be… small… dim… to hide your light.

I don’t believe that anyone should hide their light.

I think too many women do.  And I want to change that.  I have a passion to change that.

Which starts with me coming here as I am, warts and all.  Really, truly… just me… and perfectly imperfect that way.

One of my favorite bloggers, Ronna Detrick, says her purpose is to have and faciliate “renegade conversations.”  She’s got a vision to explore the places and ways that feminism and faith intersect, good and bad.

My goal here is to have conversations too… about who we are, who we want to be… about shushing those voices that say we should be anything more or better than the wonderful, marvelous, perfectly imperfect women that we are.  I want this to be the place we feel comfortable to slip off our shoes, let down our hair, and have those “kitchen table” conversations… sharing laughter, tears, wisdom, and support.

I hope you’ll join me… I look forward to sharing those conversations with you. 

xoxo-  Shauntelle