As part of my preparation for the new year, I created a new ritual for myself.  This morning, I spent time focusing and praying  about the upcoming year. My intent was to prepare myself to receive the blessings that will be coming into my life and to express gratitude for the blessings I’ve received during 2009.

I also spent time reflecting and forgive myself and others for the hurts that I was holding on to.

I’m embarrassed a little to admit that my list was over eight legal-pad pages long!

That’s a lot of hurt to hold on to. As I wrote each item down, I could literally feel my shoulders becoming less tense. By the time I completed the list, I felt tired… like I had just laid down an enormously heavy burden that I’d been carrying for a long time.

And I had.

Holding my list in my hands, I knelt on the floor of my office and prayed over the list, asking for release from those burdens and giving release to those people that I felt hurt by.  Then I shredded the list.

Done.

Gone.

Forgiving really ISN’T about the other person; it’s about freeing yourself.  It’s about releasing yourself from the walls built from that remembered pain.

There was a time I thought holding on to that pain would protect me. Maybe that’s what you think too.

If that’s the case, I invite you to perform your own version of my little ritual. You don’t have to pray or any of that. The important part is to sit quietly and reflect on the hurts you’ve held on to.  Take the time to make a list and really let out every hurt that causes you to wince when you think about it, big and small.  Then reread your list– and think about the times you’ve remembered that hurt and held back… remember the opportunities you’ve passed up… the negative words that have repeated themselves in your head… mostly, try to find even one time where holding on to that hurt has added to your happiness or well being.

If you’re like me, you won’t find even one time.

Not one of those things on my huge, long list ever kept me safe from being hurt again. Holding on to the hurt or the grudge didn’t help me make wiser decisions.  Didn’t save me from heartbreak or sadness or sickness or… just the hard parts of life.

But they did keep me from loving as much as I wanted. They kept me from giving when I really wanted to give. They kept me from reaching out and from sharing myself and my talents.  They shamed me and kept me in a smaller place than I might have been…

Let it go.  The only person being punished is YOU.

Let it go.

Release.

And enjoy the feeling of starting the year brand new.